About a month ago, while hiking, I had come to me “time is an unrenewable resource”. Depending on your view of things of a quantum nature and multiple dimensions, this could be debatable.
For all practical purposes, in this existence, as I write and you read, time is linear without a reverse gear.
In the past week or so, I noticed the name Brene Brown appearing.. a quote someone would share.. or a a remark that reading her work had saved or awakened this friend or that one. And then I saw that she had a talk on Neflix. My membership runs out at the end of the month. Time is running out! Hah!
Last night I started it up, and not a minute into her talking she said “And I have to say, honestly, the older I get, the more I realize that time is the big, precious, unrenewable resource.” Well. Whaddya know.
If you don’t have Netflix, you can read the transcript here : https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=brene-brown-the-call-to-courage
Okie dokie, Universe. Message received!
Flash backwards many years. (time is only mutable in memories, or so I’ve been led to believe!) to a friend’s apartment. They pulled out this new tarot deck called Motherpeace. Round. Not all the traditional symbols. Not the most elevated drawing to most eyes, and even so… so compelling.
The card I drew was the ten of swords. I love tarot, but have yet to have interpreting the cards come to me naturally. I immediately saw it as women taking a leap of faith. My friend thought that was an interesting and unique interpretation, as traditionally the ten of swords is seen as a card of destruction and ruin.
I think of this card often when I am on the edge of change. On the border of an “oh shit” moment as author Steve Farber described in his book “The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership”. That point where you commit with your whole being.. no turning back. I often imagine it as being on a bicycle on a top of a steep hill. I say “oh shit”, let go of the brakes, and go racing down the hill in that glorious combination of giddiness and trepidation. With any luck I land at the bottom with only a few scrapes from bushes and can hardly wait to get back up to the top and try it again.
It’s important to note that the women are not leaping off the cliff alone. The story is that these are the Princesses of Athena, leaping to their deaths rather than face horrific arranged marriages. I like the interpretation that Jean Baluka has.. in part: “The card represents the final letting go of some idea, or the absolute abandonment of a way of life. In less dramatic circumstances, it is the end of a bad life cycle, a realization that the person can no longer live the same way, because life can finally be seen for what it really is, not as it was hoped to be.” You can read her interpretations of al the cards here: https://exemplore.com/fortune-divination/Motherpeace-Round-Tarot-Cards-Suit-of-Swords
My feeling is that this could be a person and their support system, or the many aspects of one’s Self collectively making that decision to take the radical leap. A leap of faith. The point where there is no other choice.
Leaps of faith can be scary. We might not have the resources to activate the full vision. We might risk housing or food scarcity. We might be waiting for just the perfect moment. The right grant. To be discovered. The right network of like-minded people.
It’s a very physical feeling for me, the being on the verge of the leap. I’ve had a couple of friends lately take their own leaps, and they are my heroes. Maybe I’m part of a tribe of spiritual lemmings.. hehe!~ But seriously. I admire these friends and their choices. It takes courage to make the leap. Courage to be open to change. To failure. To being raw and vulnerable. I’m convince one cannot grow without it. Courage and vulnerability are other favourite topics of Brene Brown.
I’ve been on the verge of my own leap for quite awhile now. I took one nearly fifteen years ago when I moved West to literally join the circus. I’ve had amazing experiences I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve met people who have become part of my lifelong tribe of beloveds. I’ve grown and changed like I never imagined I could.
I feel I needed all these experiences and connections to come to this point of knowing. That one of my true selves combines art and healing in ways I have yet to put out there. It at first seemed too big. all the Yeah Buts keep stepping in my path. You don’t have enough money. Your work schedule that keeps you clothed and housed doesn’t allow for it. You don’t… you can’t.. whatever makes you think…
And you know what? I’m kicking all those blocks off the trail! I’ve been finding ways to create and share and write, and I WILL … oh! Another bounce. Change “I will” or “someday” to “I am” and schedule those somedays in your calendar in ink! I liken it to the times I run into a friend who says “Let’s get together for coffee soon” to which I respond “What are you doing next Thursday?” and they say.. “Someday”
We don’t know how many somedays we have.
Break off that big idea into workable hunks .
Get to it.
Take that beautiful leap of faith.
I didn’t see those women jumping off the cliff as falling.
I saw them as jumping off the cliff to soar and fly.
As always… thanks for reading. I love you!
Image: Ten of swords from the Motherpeace tarot card deck by Karen Vogel and Vicki Noble