inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Memories, spirituality, writing

Conversations with My Self

Image is a color digital collage I created of a mine tunnel with broken tracks, and a large blue eye looking into it. The eye appears to be reflecting the other end of the tunnel.

Sometimes my meditations take the form of an inner conversation, I suppose you could call it. It’s all in words. Some days it stays internal, and some days it flows onto page or screen.

This morning I was thinking back to a chat I’d had with a friend recently, where I was questioning my Why of existence– from the perspective of what is my overarching purpose. What arose is that my primary purpose is to witness the small moments.

I thought how remembering these small moments transmits them back to the universe– whether you view it as pranashakti, God, some ethereal council of beings, or something else entirely. Or nothing. It could be “live stream” (I just mistyped this as “love stream” a few times, and that’s not inaccurate!) or when hopefully long from now I leave this body and report back. Despite the horrors that we are bombarded with daily (and some experience), there is this:

“Look how wondrous this existence has been!”

Texture of bark on my favourite trees. I spent awhile this morning visiting each of them.

The day I noticed each tree has its own song when the wind caresses it.

The dance of shadows, and how sometimes I can see the faeries hiding there.

When I see a plant waving, and there’s no wind my skin can feel.

The lap of The Wise Old Tree in Minneapolis fit me perfectly, and I received from her exactly what I needed every time.

Sunlight shining through flower petals and butterfly wings.

Buzzing of bird wings when they fly closely.

How once a hummingbird hovered so closely to me I could feel the breath of its wings. And how delightful it is to hear their little beep beeps and watch them ride invisible rollercoasters when they are showing off to each other.

Bees with their pollen pants. One day I noticed a bee with **purple**polling plants, which expanded my knowledge of what colour pollen is.

One day I followed a bee on its journey until it went where a mere human couldn’t follow.

The smell of breakfast as I pass homes on Sunday morning walks.

Backyard conversations floating on the air.

Laughing with friends from the depths of our souls.

When breath sounds like the ocean, and the ocean, breath.

Seeing people’s inner child come out when they get an ice cream cone.

Looks shared between people tells one a lot about how they are relating to each other in that moment, or maybe always.

Witnessing fear course through a small child when a loud noise startled them. Not knowing what they might have experienced, assuring them they were safe in this moment. And thinking how many children do not have this assurance or safety.

How soft the sweater is of a neighbour I’ve only waved to when we finally took a moment to share each other’s names.

Appreciating the delicious feeling of my bed every night, and the gratitude I have for this experience, and a place to stay inside every day. Being cozy in bed when it’s raining.

Warmth of a lemon in my hand that someone picked from their tree and gave to me while I was out walking, and the fresh lemon scent that filled my apartment when I got home.

Times my words and presence have lifted someone up, and the times when I have not been my best. When I remember these less than stellar times, I whisper “I’m sorry” to these people, and let it go.

The joy I have of being able to sing around the house without being asked to stop, and the joy of a friend or family member joining in.

I used to hear people singing or whistling in public, and I don’t hear that much any more.

The peace of quiet when I wake up in the middle of the night, and there’s no traffic.

The bliss of sitting in my car for a moment when I come home, even though I live alone.

The beautiful community I have with my current neighbours. We take care of each other without getting into each other’s business, and I cherish it.

So much more. Every day there’s one small thing I can tuck away in the scrapbook of my heart and pull out at any time.

No big achievements by societal standards. Simply witnessing and Being in this world.

What have you witnessed today?

instinctive meditation, meditation, mindfulness, Personal Development

A Tool for Challenging Times

Image is an infographic from the article “In Times of War, We Must R.I.S.E” published by Mindful Leader.org

Being in the world right now seems extra challenging, especially for those in a position of leadership… whether officially, or by nature.

This article https://www.mindfulleader.org/blog/117884-in-times-of-war-we-must, which includes the infographic above, offers a framework I feel is a useful tool, regardless of whether you are a leader or not.

I feel Not only in times of war. Also in our busy hectic everyday lives.

I really appreciate this framework. To me it’s a psychological version of putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It can be applied not only to immediate stressful situations, but in just about any problem solving scenario.

Learning to reside in a state of relaxed awareness rather than hypervigilance is more sustainable. Both serve a purpose. I see relaxed awareness as being for the marathon, and hypervigilance for the sprint.

As it states in the article:
“Most people cannot influence geopolitical outcomes. But everyone can influence how they treat others, how they regulate their reactions, how they participate in conversations, and how they show up in their own communities.
Mindfulness does not ask us to withdraw from the world. It asks us to meet it — with clarity, courage, and responsibility. Can we rise to the occasion?”

inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Joy, meditation, mindfulness, sensation, spirituality, writing

What a Beautiful Feeling

Image is a desaturated photo of a foggy lane curving to the left. There is a wall on the left, an arch of trees. Bare branches cross in the background.

This afternoon there was no choice but to take a nap… you know that feeling …when it takes the last bit of effort you have to make it to the bed or sofa.

It’s such a delicious sinking in and surrendering to rest. I can almost feel the tiredness sliding off of me, into the mattress. Into the center of the Earth.

There are times, like today, when I’m in that liminal state and feel meditation click in. The more I practice, the more accessible that feeling is. It’s a very physical feeling… ecstatic, even. Sparkly. Effervescent. Expansive- both outward and inward. The form of meditation I practice, Instinctive Meditation®, is permissive and encourages curiosity and exploration, wherever the journey leads.

Today it was following this sensation through my body. Sensual in every regard. I thought what a beautiful feeling, and celebrated each easeful breath. I took on that phrase as a mantra: “What a beautiful feeling.” Over and over as I followed it. My arms, fingers, fingernails, legs, toes. Even the ends of my hair. All filled with the beautiful feeling of prana shakti flowing through me.

And then came: “I am an open channel for Divine energy to flow through me. Radiating out to every being. The rocks. The water. The air. The trees. And cycling back through me. Ever and always. What a beautiful feeling.

Mmm. I can feel it even now, just thinking about it.

What a beautiful feeling.

art, art appreciation, creative practice, Creativity, instinctive meditation, journaling, Joy, meditation, Memories, mindfulness, Personal growth, writing

Some Trees are Blue

“Some Trees are Blue” Adele Satori 2025. Image shows a textured painting in vibrant hues of blue, orange, red, green, and yellow.

One recent night my memories woke me up.

“Remember the time you painted the trees blue?”

I surely did! I was about six years old, in first grade. I remember being in school, painting a picture of the most beautiful tree. Not only blue, but with yellow, orange, red, and green.

My teacher, who I remember as mostly kind, looked at the picture and told me trees are brown, or black- not these bright colours.

I was heartbroken, and I knew she was wrong. You see, one of the things my family did growing up was to do things like to to museums. I remember seeing the paintings of Paul Gauguin, and being so excited! Here, in a museum, where people came to look at pictures people made, were paintings of trees and plants the way **I** saw them! Bright colours, and vibrating. Here was a grown-up who also saw the songs of trees, and he painted them to show the world.

I may have tried to tell the teacher that. I can’t quite remember; it was a long time ago. I just remember being sad and confused. Didn’t everyone see the songs of trees? How they sometimes shimmer the way pavement does on a hot summer day?

I think most kids have this ability to see multiple realities– until it’s taught out of us. Those of us who somehow keep the magic become the artists, poets, explorers, inventors, often getting “lost” in our beautiful inner worlds. Some of us are seen as mad (I always wondered about that description.).. I suppose the adult version of having a note pinned on our sweaters.

As I lay there in bed, other childhood memories came. That same year, we had a class where the visiting Phys. Ed. teacher put on music and told us to pretend we were a train. We got into a milk-and-cookie infused samba line and chugga chugga’d to the music.

Except me.

Oh no! In my mind I became a train! CHUGGA CHUGGA!!!! WOOO WOOO!!! WOOO WOOO!!! I pumped my arms, shook my head, and in my imagination saw the “more powerful from a locomotive” from the opening sequence of “The Adventures of Super Man” (Starring Georrrrrrge Reeeeves!!!).

Everything, and everyone stopped.

I got taken out of class, and sent home with a note pinned to my sweater about how I couldn’t control myself. It wouldn’t be the last time! So many kidhood memories of experiencing things like this, and “weren’t real”, but those are stories for another time.

My thoughts turned back to trees. Part of me wanted to jump up then and there and paint, but my logical brain started to wake up…. I only have black canvas board… I don’t know where my palette knives are (because this urge was too primal for brushes)… and wandered through the technical aspects of how adult me would paint those trees.

I ended up later that morning going to sit near trees, and soaking in all their textures and colours. I came home, found my knives, and sat down to paint. I went quickly, and intuitively. Sometimes my eyes were nearly closed. I followed the memories of texture, light, sound, and movement. Not thinking if I was doing it right (I’m not a painter, primarily.. I just have the tools around). Not thinking of how others would perceive it. Not worrying if I was wasting materials (another childhood lesson). Simply enjoying the process of painting a tree in all its hidden colours.

And I’m here to tell you… that experience healed something in me. That’s the beauty of creative practice. Creating to create and explore, without expectation of outcome, or demands for others, opens the way to our inner worlds. You don’t have to show it to anyone else, or even keep it.

My invitation to you now, is to remember something you used to do, or like to do and haven’t made the time to do, but especially something you liked to do as a child. Sing silly songs as you go through your day. Make little cabins for ants out of twigs. Finger paint (paint with water on the sidewalk if you don’t have paint!). Twirl in circles. Lay on the grass and watch the cloud beings chase each other. Use what you have on hand. Play and create for the pure pleasure of it.

I’m going to go smile at the most beautiful blue tree I painted.

creative practice, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, writing

Meditation as Inner Journaling

Image show closeup of a hand holding a pen on an open journal with blank pages. In the background is a garden path and plants

Not long ago I was invited to reignite my journaling practice as part of a journey to understand myself more deeply. I balked at first, and decided to meditate awhile to figure out why.

My journals are sacred space, and there have been times that has not been honoured, so I know that’s one reason, even though I currently live alone. Although I’m pretty good at allowing a direct mindheart to pen connection, my inner writer and editor sometimes disrupt the flow… backing up.. crossing out… rearranging. And sometimes seeing my thoughts in writing make them somehow more “real” and a whole different adventure of judgement and evaluation begins.

It came to me that meditation is a form of inner journaling- the ultimate sacred space. I’ve cultivated a practice that welcomes and allows all that comes up, without judgement or editing… sounds a lot like pen to paper or hands to keyboard journaling, doesn’t it?

Opening to a feeling in meditation for me is sometimes less distracting than writing. I can explore more deeply all the nuances that it encompasses… mind.. body… and spirit, beyond words. I can explore in multiple directions simultaneously in a way I have yet to discover while writing. I do often have a pen and paper nearby, for the times I have astonishing realizations. They don’t always stick with my in thought, so this has been working for me, as I flow between inner meditation and outer meditation… inner and outer journaling.

Astonishment doesn’t have to be life-changing, by the way.. it can be as beautiful as recalling in detail some small thing I witnessed in a day… like the dance of shadows on a sidewalk. Becoming more attuned to experiencing awe, wonder, and astonishment is enriching my life so much!

Meditation has also enhanced my writing. If I take even a short bit of time to transition between ordinary and writing states of mind, I’m becoming more able to allow the flow, without distraction, and seeing the act of writing or typing as part of the embodiment of that flow. Much as I learned long ago to hit record from the moment I sit down to compose digital music. I can finesse and edit later- the important thing is being open to receiving what the Muse is whispering to my heart.