inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Memories, spirituality, writing

Conversations with My Self

Image is a color digital collage I created of a mine tunnel with broken tracks, and a large blue eye looking into it. The eye appears to be reflecting the other end of the tunnel.

Sometimes my meditations take the form of an inner conversation, I suppose you could call it. It’s all in words. Some days it stays internal, and some days it flows onto page or screen.

This morning I was thinking back to a chat I’d had with a friend recently, where I was questioning my Why of existence– from the perspective of what is my overarching purpose. What arose is that my primary purpose is to witness the small moments.

I thought how remembering these small moments transmits them back to the universe– whether you view it as pranashakti, God, some ethereal council of beings, or something else entirely. Or nothing. It could be “live stream” (I just mistyped this as “love stream” a few times, and that’s not inaccurate!) or when hopefully long from now I leave this body and report back. Despite the horrors that we are bombarded with daily (and some experience), there is this:

“Look how wondrous this existence has been!”

Texture of bark on my favourite trees. I spent awhile this morning visiting each of them.

The day I noticed each tree has its own song when the wind caresses it.

The dance of shadows, and how sometimes I can see the faeries hiding there.

When I see a plant waving, and there’s no wind my skin can feel.

The lap of The Wise Old Tree in Minneapolis fit me perfectly, and I received from her exactly what I needed every time.

Sunlight shining through flower petals and butterfly wings.

Buzzing of bird wings when they fly closely.

How once a hummingbird hovered so closely to me I could feel the breath of its wings. And how delightful it is to hear their little beep beeps and watch them ride invisible rollercoasters when they are showing off to each other.

Bees with their pollen pants. One day I noticed a bee with **purple**polling plants, which expanded my knowledge of what colour pollen is.

One day I followed a bee on its journey until it went where a mere human couldn’t follow.

The smell of breakfast as I pass homes on Sunday morning walks.

Backyard conversations floating on the air.

Laughing with friends from the depths of our souls.

When breath sounds like the ocean, and the ocean, breath.

Seeing people’s inner child come out when they get an ice cream cone.

Looks shared between people tells one a lot about how they are relating to each other in that moment, or maybe always.

Witnessing fear course through a small child when a loud noise startled them. Not knowing what they might have experienced, assuring them they were safe in this moment. And thinking how many children do not have this assurance or safety.

How soft the sweater is of a neighbour I’ve only waved to when we finally took a moment to share each other’s names.

Appreciating the delicious feeling of my bed every night, and the gratitude I have for this experience, and a place to stay inside every day. Being cozy in bed when it’s raining.

Warmth of a lemon in my hand that someone picked from their tree and gave to me while I was out walking, and the fresh lemon scent that filled my apartment when I got home.

Times my words and presence have lifted someone up, and the times when I have not been my best. When I remember these less than stellar times, I whisper “I’m sorry” to these people, and let it go.

The joy I have of being able to sing around the house without being asked to stop, and the joy of a friend or family member joining in.

I used to hear people singing or whistling in public, and I don’t hear that much any more.

The peace of quiet when I wake up in the middle of the night, and there’s no traffic.

The bliss of sitting in my car for a moment when I come home, even though I live alone.

The beautiful community I have with my current neighbours. We take care of each other without getting into each other’s business, and I cherish it.

So much more. Every day there’s one small thing I can tuck away in the scrapbook of my heart and pull out at any time.

No big achievements by societal standards. Simply witnessing and Being in this world.

What have you witnessed today?

Affirmations, creative practice, Creativity, inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, Personal growth, spirituality, Uncategorized, writing

Perspective

Image is a black and white photo of the full moon with pine branches reaching across from the left side

This morning I woke up, thinking about today’s first full moon of the year. How in some traditions the full moon has been seen as the culmination of events, and a time to release that which no longer serves us.

I started to wonder, instead, of thinking of the full moon, and all of the phases of the moon, as a ripening, and reaching up to pluck it like a sweet berry from the sky, full of starlight and dreams. Inspiration and a seed for the coming month. A reminder of the continual cycle of growth and rest.

I love shifting and exploring different perspectives. It’s part of my creative practice.

May curiosity and awe continue to lead each and everyone of us into exploring the beauty and possibility all around us.

inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Joy, meditation, mindfulness, sensation, spirituality, writing

What a Beautiful Feeling

Image is a desaturated photo of a foggy lane curving to the left. There is a wall on the left, an arch of trees. Bare branches cross in the background.

This afternoon there was no choice but to take a nap… you know that feeling …when it takes the last bit of effort you have to make it to the bed or sofa.

It’s such a delicious sinking in and surrendering to rest. I can almost feel the tiredness sliding off of me, into the mattress. Into the center of the Earth.

There are times, like today, when I’m in that liminal state and feel meditation click in. The more I practice, the more accessible that feeling is. It’s a very physical feeling… ecstatic, even. Sparkly. Effervescent. Expansive- both outward and inward. The form of meditation I practice, Instinctive Meditation®, is permissive and encourages curiosity and exploration, wherever the journey leads.

Today it was following this sensation through my body. Sensual in every regard. I thought what a beautiful feeling, and celebrated each easeful breath. I took on that phrase as a mantra: “What a beautiful feeling.” Over and over as I followed it. My arms, fingers, fingernails, legs, toes. Even the ends of my hair. All filled with the beautiful feeling of prana shakti flowing through me.

And then came: “I am an open channel for Divine energy to flow through me. Radiating out to every being. The rocks. The water. The air. The trees. And cycling back through me. Ever and always. What a beautiful feeling.

Mmm. I can feel it even now, just thinking about it.

What a beautiful feeling.

inspiration, instinctive meditation, meditation, music, poetry, spirituality, spoken word

Sutra 16, The Radiance Sutras

Sutra 16

The roar of joy that set the worlds in motion
Is reverberating in your body
And the space between all bodies.
Beloved, listen.

Find that exuberant vibration
Rising new in every moment,
Humming in your secret places,
Resounding through the channels of delight.
Know you are flooded by it always.

Float with the sound.
Melt with it into divine silence.
The sacred power of space will carry you
Into the dancing radiant emptiness
That is the source of all.
The ocean of sound is inviting you
Into its spacious embrace,
Calling you home.

“The Radiance Sutras”, Lorin Roche, PhD

creative practice, inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, spirituality, writing

The Universe Woke Me, and I Listened.

Image show yellow ginko leaves on a grey cement sidewalk. A single drop of water rests on the center leaf, and a reflection of the sun is visible.

I woke up at 2 AM. Not uncommon, but this was different. I distinctly heard “Enlightenment. Enlightenment.” O dear goodness, brain, please let me go back to sleep. And yet it was persistent.

“Enlightenment. The light in me.” I had an urgency to find pen and paper, turn on a light that pierced the darkness, and write. I feel sometimes it’s important to share the process as a creative person, so here’s what came, only reordered slightly for clarity.
********************************************************************************
Enlightenment. The light in me. Becoming light. Finding peace. Finding innocence. Uniting with my inner child. The inner child as light? Innocence.

Innocence lost. Is it one defining moment, or a series of events?

Reaching for the light in me, like reaching for a glass of water. The thirst is quenched for a time, and then we refresh.

Innocence. The “pure” soul- or maybe better- or orginal soul. Full of wonder and awe. Exploring things deeply with the whole being because everything is fresh, and new. Experimenting. Figuring things out. Kids’ drawing showing aspects of what they see and feel.

Rising to the surface in times of joy- eating an ice cream cone. Looking at the sky. In times of sorrow- calling for Mama when hurt. Saying goodbye when driving away from a burning house (not mine. I saw this on a video). In times of hope- reconnecting with someone…the video I saw of a man taking his 5 year old son to meet his Grandmother for the first time…. there were two little boys standing on those steps.

Do those who live closer with Nature retain more innocence? Do artists?

What does pura vida mean? Pure life. Living in deep appreciation.

Getting the wonder taught out of us. Being taught to conform, rather than discover our full potential, unbound by convention.

“Personal growth” as commodification of the journey back to the soul.

Enlightenment is a process, not an end game. Not a competition. Not a hierarchy. Vibration is simply vibration. The colonization of communing with the soul is rampant.

Feeling like something’s wrong if we don’t know what our life purpose is (what do you want to be when you grow up?), as if it has to be ONE THING FOREVER, when the purpose might Universally be to learn, discover, love (the world around us, people, our selves) while we are in this body.

If we are lucky, we are born into an environment where we are nurtured, protected “just enough”. Not all beings have that privilege.

Has tech “stolen” that from kids? How seeing packs of kids out roaming is so rare any more.

Healing the inner child as reconnecting with that pure soul/original innocence.

The other day I wondered if when we die, we step fully into our happiest moment/memory before the next adventure begins.

Reaching. Obtaining. Enlightenment can’t be possessed. It’s the dance and music of the soul.
********************************************************************************Well. That was quite the adventure! Much to ponder. Seeds for creating. Seeds for being.