I’ve been savouring this first stanza of Sutra 85, from “The Radiance Sutras” by Lorin Roche, PhD.
In trying something new, or even a fresh day, one can open one’s Self up to so much if an encounter, exploration, or a routine you’ve done a thousand time, is approached without layering expectations over the experience. I learn so much when I engage with something as if it is for the first time. Some of my best work has come when I haven’t been quite certain of what I am doing, and have the willingness to follow where events are leading me.
Here is the sutra in its entirety: Toss aside your map of the world, All your beliefs and constructs. Dare the wild unknow.
Here in this terrifying freedom, Naked before the universe, Commune with the One Who knows everything from the inside: Invisible power pervading everywhere Divine presence permeating everything.
Image shows a rippling sunlit pool of water surrounded by rocks and ferns.
I started as expected. The Way it is done. Eyes closed. Hands folded just so. Then I felt my bones pressing into the stone seat. A blade of grass Tickled my foot.
My eyes opened. I watched bees gather at the waters edge to share a drink and talk of sweetest flowers.
Two butterflies dared each other on invisible currents.
Bird landed, flitted and chirped.
A rock leaned over to talk to a tree.
Tree curve echoed the curve of the creek.
And I knew.
It is every bit as much a prayer, being part of things as they unfold, As to sit. As expected. The Way it is done. Eyes closed. Hands folded just so.
Have you every meditation about your meditation? I did today.
I did one of my favourite urban hikes that ends for me at the grounds of the Self-Realization Mother House near where I live. I wandered behind the main building so I could see the vista of mountains, covered with more snow than I’ve seen in my entire time living in Los Angeles.
And I thought– this is my image of sovereignty. Not in human form, but in the quiet solid ancient strength of mountains. The roar of water. Gnarled tree roots that I imagine were braided by faeries. Not in human-created deities. I felt filled with the beautiful power of Nature.
I wandered over to the Temple of Leaves to sit a bit. Another person was sitting down as I arrived, and he was loud and purposeful in his breathing. I sat and listened to the birds and wondered more about sovereignty as I fell into the delicious comfort of meditation.
I began to sense a light deep in my brain, and then I could see it, and it had a faint, indescribable. sound. Bells made of water is the closest I can come.
I got curious about the light, and inwardly said “I would like to see more, please.”
The light grew and I could feel it both inside and outside more forehead. Like the looking glass Alice fell through.
My eyes still closed, the light moved and was hovering in front of me. It looked something like the Sun, but more- with a wavy ribbon candy corona, and rays flowing out. So beautiful.
I felt a pull to the center, and the image grew to encompass my whole consciousnesses.
I moved towards the center and was hearing “In the center is a jewel. and the jewel is the center.” So many indescribable feelings.
And then “Your heart is the jewel, and the jewel is your heart. Your heart is all hearts, and all hearts are One.”
All of me was filled with light that felt like carbonated water. And the breeze around me blew tendrils of light and energy off of me.
Right around then something growled in the bushes, and I could hear a crack as I was startled back into ordinary consciousness.
Once I determined it was frisky squirrels and not a threat, I sat there a few more moments. Thinking about how humans have tried to describe the Undescribable through myths and religions- through art, and music.
And how, if one is very lucky, one can enter and experience a glimpse of what is beyond ordinary human consciousness and bring back a beautiful impression and memory that can be opened again at any time.
************************************* Image is a photo I took on my walk.
As I was sitting in the plumeria grove yesterday, drifting in and out of meditation, I looked down to see my left hand completely in shadow, and my right hand completely lit up.
I’ll admit. I spent a bit of time figuring out how to photograph it; it was quite lovely. I settled back in again. Enjoying the solitude, the breeze, watching the parrots’ sideways walking on the branches.
I began to think of shadows.. and the concept of shadow work. So many times when shadow work is talked about, it’s meant the parts of us we don’t like. Or trauma we have experienced. Things we’ve shoved way back in our brain cupboards. Unwanted, and yet, we can’t quite bring ourselves to get rid of them either.
And then I thought… “what if” … and if you’ve known me any length of time you know how fond I am of “what if” being a jumping off point for exploration rather than a tsunami of anxiety….
What if there are things in the shadows that are wonderful, and precious, and maybe our deepest true self? Tucked away because they were “too”. Too odd. Too bold. Too different. Maybe tucked away out of fear of losing what is familiar- groups of people we relate to, too big a challenge to our sense of self. Hidden behind a big ol’ box of What Will Other People Think. Requiring the deepest relational commitment of all. To our Self.
This and. Not either or.
As we look into the shadows, healing wounds and discovering treasures, it’s important to be compassionate with ourselves, and with others. There might be a whole lot of internal work that happens that will shock people who knew one aspect of you, when they suddenly meet your next incarnation
(there can be many incarnations within one lifetime, I feel)
Like back in high school math class, when I sometimes just knew the answer to a complex problem. The teacher would challenge me to “show my work” and I couldn’t, because I simply knew the answer by looking at it.
One of my friends has been posting amazing images of all the monarch butterflies emerging in their yard this Spring. It’s amazing to watch the chrysalis go from a green and gold jewel to clear, and then the butterfly makes its way out, transformed.
I have so many life shifts happening right now. The very pragmatic and fast approaching need to find where “home” is next. Work that is not so hard on my body and spirit. And beautiful inner alchemy.
So yes, I may seem the same, yet somehow different. I can hardly wait to step out of the shadows, into the light.
Before I knew of such things as chakras, and Saturn returns, I drew this oh so long ago
Recently I’ve begun training to become a meditation teacher, and all of us in the virtual class are so exuberant, and diving in full soul.
Many are sharing pictures of their meditation nooks/spaces/rooms. Beautiful spaces all, complete with lovely tapestries, altars, and such.
I have little informal I suppose you could call altars throughout my house. Little groupings of items collected or gifted over the years. Musical instruments in one corner, the marble cafe table from an ancestor’s store with the shop bell, crystals, a microscope and discarded cards I find on walks. But I really don’t have any one spot I consistently go to set my mind free.
I thought of the Martha Graham quote: “Wherever a dancer stands ready, that spot is holy ground”…and then I realized. I am my meditation room. Wherever I am, I take my holy ground with me. Wherever I can fully be in the moment.. watching ocean waves, or leaves fluttering on a tree, or follow the path of birds riding currents on air, get lost in music I am creating. All of it is a variation on meditation as I see it.
There is great comfort and joy and something special about having a traditional place to contemplate life, the Universe and everything.. the buildup of energy there is tangible. It’s why sometimes people venture into a church or temple without knowing exactly why, other than the pull was there, and comfort and perhaps realizations were found.
I am so grateful that I can find this wherever I go- on the train, on a bench in a park, on a walk and stopping and overlooking the city.
craftingthespirit.com 