inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Memories, spirituality, writing

Conversations with My Self

Image is a color digital collage I created of a mine tunnel with broken tracks, and a large blue eye looking into it. The eye appears to be reflecting the other end of the tunnel.

Sometimes my meditations take the form of an inner conversation, I suppose you could call it. It’s all in words. Some days it stays internal, and some days it flows onto page or screen.

This morning I was thinking back to a chat I’d had with a friend recently, where I was questioning my Why of existence– from the perspective of what is my overarching purpose. What arose is that my primary purpose is to witness the small moments.

I thought how remembering these small moments transmits them back to the universe– whether you view it as pranashakti, God, some ethereal council of beings, or something else entirely. Or nothing. It could be “live stream” (I just mistyped this as “love stream” a few times, and that’s not inaccurate!) or when hopefully long from now I leave this body and report back. Despite the horrors that we are bombarded with daily (and some experience), there is this:

“Look how wondrous this existence has been!”

Texture of bark on my favourite trees. I spent awhile this morning visiting each of them.

The day I noticed each tree has its own song when the wind caresses it.

The dance of shadows, and how sometimes I can see the faeries hiding there.

When I see a plant waving, and there’s no wind my skin can feel.

The lap of The Wise Old Tree in Minneapolis fit me perfectly, and I received from her exactly what I needed every time.

Sunlight shining through flower petals and butterfly wings.

Buzzing of bird wings when they fly closely.

How once a hummingbird hovered so closely to me I could feel the breath of its wings. And how delightful it is to hear their little beep beeps and watch them ride invisible rollercoasters when they are showing off to each other.

Bees with their pollen pants. One day I noticed a bee with **purple**polling plants, which expanded my knowledge of what colour pollen is.

One day I followed a bee on its journey until it went where a mere human couldn’t follow.

The smell of breakfast as I pass homes on Sunday morning walks.

Backyard conversations floating on the air.

Laughing with friends from the depths of our souls.

When breath sounds like the ocean, and the ocean, breath.

Seeing people’s inner child come out when they get an ice cream cone.

Looks shared between people tells one a lot about how they are relating to each other in that moment, or maybe always.

Witnessing fear course through a small child when a loud noise startled them. Not knowing what they might have experienced, assuring them they were safe in this moment. And thinking how many children do not have this assurance or safety.

How soft the sweater is of a neighbour I’ve only waved to when we finally took a moment to share each other’s names.

Appreciating the delicious feeling of my bed every night, and the gratitude I have for this experience, and a place to stay inside every day. Being cozy in bed when it’s raining.

Warmth of a lemon in my hand that someone picked from their tree and gave to me while I was out walking, and the fresh lemon scent that filled my apartment when I got home.

Times my words and presence have lifted someone up, and the times when I have not been my best. When I remember these less than stellar times, I whisper “I’m sorry” to these people, and let it go.

The joy I have of being able to sing around the house without being asked to stop, and the joy of a friend or family member joining in.

I used to hear people singing or whistling in public, and I don’t hear that much any more.

The peace of quiet when I wake up in the middle of the night, and there’s no traffic.

The bliss of sitting in my car for a moment when I come home, even though I live alone.

The beautiful community I have with my current neighbours. We take care of each other without getting into each other’s business, and I cherish it.

So much more. Every day there’s one small thing I can tuck away in the scrapbook of my heart and pull out at any time.

No big achievements by societal standards. Simply witnessing and Being in this world.

What have you witnessed today?

inspiration, instinctive meditation, instinctive meditation, journaling, writing

Bodha Sambhava

Image shows the ocean at sunset. A tidepool is surrounded by rocks and reflects the sky.

I’m in deep reflection with gratitude, love, and awe, at the departure from Earth of my beloved teacher, Lorin Roche, PhD, co-founder of The Radiance Sutras School of Meditation. Beyond words, really for all that he, his partner in life and teaching Camille Maurine, all my teachers, mentors, the behind the scenes magic makers, and the global community of friends I’ve been gifted.

I like using his book The Radiance Sutras as an oracle, and here’s what I opened to this evening.

Sutra 104
Holiness permeates everywhere.
Senses cannot grasp it.
Images cannot represent it.

It is totally free—
Free to appear as form,
Free to be beyond form.

Heart and body an mind in unison,
Attend to the unimaginable.
In the intercourse of unknowable and known,
An awakening will be born in you
As you join with that reality
which you already are.
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From the illumination essay that accompanies the sutra: “bodha sambhava: to come into intimacy with pure consciousness.”

I can only imagine that Lorin is dancing a beautiful dance of intimacy with the unknowable.

Much love to Camille, all my teachers, the behind the scene magic makers, and the community I’ve come to love so deeply

Affirmations, creative practice, Creativity, inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, Personal growth, spirituality, Uncategorized, writing

Perspective

Image is a black and white photo of the full moon with pine branches reaching across from the left side

This morning I woke up, thinking about today’s first full moon of the year. How in some traditions the full moon has been seen as the culmination of events, and a time to release that which no longer serves us.

I started to wonder, instead, of thinking of the full moon, and all of the phases of the moon, as a ripening, and reaching up to pluck it like a sweet berry from the sky, full of starlight and dreams. Inspiration and a seed for the coming month. A reminder of the continual cycle of growth and rest.

I love shifting and exploring different perspectives. It’s part of my creative practice.

May curiosity and awe continue to lead each and everyone of us into exploring the beauty and possibility all around us.

inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, Joy, meditation, mindfulness, sensation, spirituality, writing

What a Beautiful Feeling

Image is a desaturated photo of a foggy lane curving to the left. There is a wall on the left, an arch of trees. Bare branches cross in the background.

This afternoon there was no choice but to take a nap… you know that feeling …when it takes the last bit of effort you have to make it to the bed or sofa.

It’s such a delicious sinking in and surrendering to rest. I can almost feel the tiredness sliding off of me, into the mattress. Into the center of the Earth.

There are times, like today, when I’m in that liminal state and feel meditation click in. The more I practice, the more accessible that feeling is. It’s a very physical feeling… ecstatic, even. Sparkly. Effervescent. Expansive- both outward and inward. The form of meditation I practice, Instinctive Meditation®, is permissive and encourages curiosity and exploration, wherever the journey leads.

Today it was following this sensation through my body. Sensual in every regard. I thought what a beautiful feeling, and celebrated each easeful breath. I took on that phrase as a mantra: “What a beautiful feeling.” Over and over as I followed it. My arms, fingers, fingernails, legs, toes. Even the ends of my hair. All filled with the beautiful feeling of prana shakti flowing through me.

And then came: “I am an open channel for Divine energy to flow through me. Radiating out to every being. The rocks. The water. The air. The trees. And cycling back through me. Ever and always. What a beautiful feeling.

Mmm. I can feel it even now, just thinking about it.

What a beautiful feeling.

art, art appreciation, Creativity, drawing, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, Memories, mindfulness, poetry, writing

Drawing Memory

Image shows a pastel drawing of an ocean beach. There are waves coming to shore. On the right is a large boulder, with a yellow sun just to the left of the boulder.

Consider all the pain and all the pleasure
You have ever experienced
As waves on a very deep ocean which you are.

From the depths, witness those waves,
Rolling along so bravely, always changing,
Beautiful in their self-sustaining power.

Marvel that once, you identified with
Only the surface of this ocean.
Now embrace waves, depths, undersea mountains,
Out to the farthest shore.
~Insight verse 136, “The Radiance Sutras”, Lorin Roche, PhD.
************************************************************
The image I drew in a recent Playing With Creativity and Meditation class that my friend Andrea Abrahamson and I co-teach at the online Radiance Sutras School of Meditation. It was her turn to facilitate, and the theme was travel.  

Going into the meditation, we were invited to attune to our senses. I live on a really busy street, and the ebb and flow of traffic began to sound like ocean waves to me.  I could see the image I drew so clearly, so out it came.  As I worked with the pastels, my fingers blending the colours together also sounded like the ocean to me, so I played with that… moving my hand and much of my body, creating the sound of the ocean. The movement of waves. The tingling of my fingers reminded me a little of the sharp tingling of sand under my bare feet.

It’s my favourite little beach in Pacific Palisades, and is still closed after the January fires. I looked at the satellite map recently, tracing the route down the twists and turns down Sunset Blvd. that I’ve enjoyed driving.  So much is gone; I’m not sure when I’ll have the heart to make the drive again. It’s so wonderful to have the memory of it, and now this image, as one of my doorways into meditation.