Category: goal setting

daring, goal setting, inspiration, instinctive meditation, journaling, meditation, Personal Development, Personal growth, risk

The Courage to Fail

Adele Satori
Image shows the word FAILED, with a rectangular border, at an angle. Both word and border are red.


I was talking with an accountability partner the other day. They were expressing frustration as a leader, when they didn’t how to more effectively approach team members that kept doing the same thing, the same way, and failing.

We’ve all done it at some point. Try the same thing the same way over and over, and fail. Our brains just can’t seem to figure it out. It’s like a dog trying to go through a narrow opening with a long stick.

Perhaps we see a team member or colleague follow the same pattern, with an unsuccessful outcome. As a leader, we make the same suggestion, over and over, and have the same result. We can see so clearly what they should be doing differently, and the desired outcome just doesn’t materialize. We can’t figure out a way to advise the person in a way they will understand.

In either case, there can be the pressure of “I/we don’t have time to fail”, which can add another layer of real and/or perceived obstacles.

When we fail within ourselves, we will sometimes give up in frustration. When failure arises in a group, the outcome of the efforts of the entire team can be affected. A person may end up feeling stigmatized and be less willing to take risks in the future.

As a leader, there is a delicate balance between catching the action in the moment and reestablishing the flow, or risking calling out a person in front of their peers and souring group dynamics. If there’s a potential learning opportunity for the entire group, find a way to reshape the process for the team.

Try brainstorming together. Understanding that people learn in many different ways, this can create a collaboration that accommodates the different styles that works for everyone. It gives space for the team to support and nurture each other’s success.

If it’s more appropriate to work with the person one on one, ask them to describe their process. It could reveal where the glitch is, and how to fix it. It’s important that people feel empowered in their improvement, and not shamed. Talking through their routine can create space for them to have their own aha moment.

One of the benefits of creative practice is you build your failure muscle. That is, you build your willingness to fail in a new way... even courage to fail in a new way. Curiosity and exploration can lead to doing things in ways you hadn’t considered before, and lead to the desired result.

So how can one do this in ordinary, non-creative practice life? It’s a matter of burning new pathways. Our brain has learned a way that doesn’t work, and it stubbornly won’t give it up!

Engage in visualization and/or meditation.
An individual or group can practice visualization, where a process is rehearsed internally, and then apply the new process in real time. Allow all the possibilities to flow through imagination. This combined with brainstorming can encourage innovative thinking and outcomes.

Recall a time you did succeed… either in the actions where you are currently failing, or something completely different. When we succeed, we often can feel it coming, dropping into the zone where everything seems to magically fall into place. Replay those moments in your mind.. how it felt, what you did.. engaging fully with all your senses.

In addition to visualization, meditation practice in general invites a deeper connection to self and the world around us. In Instinctive Meditation®, which I practice, all is welcome. It’s not about blocking things out, but allowing it all to arise, and let the mind do it’s thing.

Do something seemingly unrelated to what you were doing.
In creative practice, I will sometimes work in a different medium- maybe even one I’ve never worked with before. We’ve all sucked at trying something new, until we start to understand the properties of what we’re working with. If you learned to ride a bike, play a musical instrument, or learn a new work procedure, you likely failed a few times before you “got” it.

In a group setting, where practical, cross training might be successful, or even show strengths that weren’t apparent in a different role. This can be another opportunity to involve the whole group in exercises. These could include incorporating movement and rhythm, writing up procedure manuals together, and so on.

Once when I was teaching kids of a broad age range, the littles weren’t getting the concept of weaving. I made up a game, on the spot, where we held hands and wove over and under each other. It helped! My typing teacher (ancient times!) had us imagine a song with good rhythm in our heads to help our typing speed and consistency.

Model the actions of someone you admire.
Who is successful in doing something you’d like to do? Watch successful plays of sport figures, teams, or dancers and try out their moves. What does a speaker, singer, or writer do to warm up? Try out their routines or drills. Set up an interview with someone who is where you want to be, and ask them how they got there.. what their successes and failures have been. Some of the people I admire most have had some pretty spectacular failures. Ask someone to be your mentor. Find an accountability partner.

Don’t take your failures personally.
This can be a tough one, especially for those of us who’ve internalized stories of not meeting the expectations of those who rely on us, or been met with a rejection if we don’t meet high standards. Your self talk might reflect this… “I never… I always… what made me think I could.. ” If you come up against this obstacle, it can be a good time to work with a life guide of some sort. Journaling and meditation can also be useful tools.

Failure is part of being human! It’s how we learn.
You will fail at some things. Remember that you succeed at many more! Failing lets us know we are stretching our capacity to grow. Give yourself permission to fail. This is where deliberate practice of any kind is so important. It allows you to explore without expectation of outcome. To more deeply connect with process and self.

Be willing to have the courage to fail in a new way.

focus, goal setting, inspiration, instinctive meditation, meditation, mindfulness, Personal Development, Personal growth

The Beauty of Micropractice

Adele Satori

How many of us have said “I don’t have time”?
To go for a walk.
To spend time on a hobby.
To meditate.

There’s a way in. And it’s micropractice. A very short dedicated time to doing a thing.
One way is to set a reminder to stop and do the thing. For five minutes. For one minute. For three breaths. For one. Get up and walk around the block. Have a picture of your favourite place or people and spend a couple minutes looking at it.

Let’s dive in to meditation as an example.

A practice that I give to clients for when they sense they are becoming overwhelmed/stressed out/just need a quick break is for each inhale and exhale, touch your thumb to a finger… index, middle, and so on. And back up. It’s helped me so many times. I believe combining the breaths with the touch helps embody a relaxation response.

Here’s a video demonstration of the breathing techniques: https://craftingthespirit.com/2022/04/20/micropractice-breathwork-demonstration/

There are so many ways to incorporate a micropractice into your day.

Inhale the aroma of your morning beverage, the sensation of heat or cold, the feel of the cup in your hands.

Delight in the colour of light and the play of shadows.

The sensation of gravity on your body.

Take one deep breath, and on the exhale, exaggerate with a drop of your shoulders. Or take a three part breath- two on the inhale and one long exhale. Like when a child is done crying. For some people that’s more effective than one breath. With practice you may find one breath is a great reset!

Eventually, you may find you have or crave more time to do the thing. This is part of habit formation and it’s amazing how it works.

When I want to regroup/reset/refresh, I often like to get out in Nature. If I’m really feeling wound up, I choose a route that requires some physical exertion to dispel that pounding fight-or-flight feeling.

I find a place to sit or walk, and take in my surroundings. Maybe noticing how my breathing is changing. Allowing the thoughts to flow, and usually they will settle down.

I will follow the whirls of tree bark, the swirls of flower petals, the flow of water down a stream. The shifting shapes of clouds. The dancing of light and shadow at my feet. Watch a bee fly from flower to flower, and delight as its yellow pollen pants grow fat and heavy.

I once laid on a rock in the middle of a river so long that I became both the river and the rock.

Sometimes an answer comes, if I’ve been looking. Sometimes I feel lighter. Almost always I come back from the mountain, or forest, or ocean ready to take on what’s next.

My invitation to you this week to to experiment with incorporating micropractices into your day. Set aside several of these micropractice minutes in your day. I’d love to hear how it goes!

focus, goal setting, passion, Personal Development, Personal growth, Uncategorized

Content, Connection, Goals, and Plans

Adele Satori
Things are not always what they appear to be on the surface
Photo by my friend Andrea.

The other day I was listening to a talk by Bradley T. Morris, a lifestyle and business design coach. He was describing one of his “AHA” moments. While sitting in Nature enjoying a sunset, he discovered he was already formulating a social media post rather than being absorbed in the moment. That realization was his inspiration to approach business in a completely different way. What a perfect example of how social media and online presence has taken over the lives of so many. Going through our days with an eye to creating content and capturing likes, follows, and share instead of fully embodying our experience.

Social media’s been mixed for me. I’ve definitely had moments when I take a picture or have a passionate flow of words come to me and think “Oh man! This will make a great post!” It’s also connected me to people I’ve come to call true friends, collaborators, teachers and mentors from all over the world I wouldn’t have had a chance to interact with otherwise. It’s provided an audience for my images, words, and music I might not have had. It’s inspired me to refine my photographic eye and hone other creative skills.

Being content-focused to me is living on the surface. It can take up a lot of energy, without a lot of reward for either the creator or consumer. Creating content with the goal of connection, though, has the potential to be inspirational and even interactive.

It’s important too, I feel to make sure the mission and message are aligned. That a subversive mission of gaining a following doesn’t dilute the offering.

In my own experience lately, I found I was expending a lot of effort in creating content in a way I thought would bring me passive income and potentially a large following. It. Was. All. So. Hard. I realized one day I had distracted myself from my original goal, which was (and still is) to find a way to share with others my joy of creative practice, and how it can contribute to making meaning.

To the point where even though a particular plan felt so uncomfortable, wrong, not “me”, I was pursuing it anyway. I had veered off the path of wanting to truly connect with others and holding space for them to make their own discoveries to healing, stillness, and celebration of this thing we call life.

Full.

Stop.

So, Adele, you may be thinking… what does all this have to do with goals and plans?

For one, the concepts of content, connection, goals, and plans have been tumbling around all together in my mind these past few weeks.

Let’s consider, for a moment, to look at both content and goals as intent. They can both be broad and vague. Examples could be: This topic is trending and I’m going to rehash it/share a meme. I want to increase clicks with this catchy headline. We will create a brand that will create excitement in a certain demographic. I want to write a best seller novel/song. I want to be a baseball player. I want to change my weight/fitness level. Goals are an expression of a desire. Sometimes they are realistic, and sometimes they are really more dreams than anything.

Plans are the action steps: I’m going to go a new provocative route with this trending topic, and these are the steps I’m taking. The headline is not just a teaser, but the content makes you want more. This month we will launch new packaging that’s more appealing to a demographic. I am scheduling time each day to devote to a pursuit, either for enjoyment or mastery. I am sitting down today to make my meal plan for how I want to eat. They connect (see? this is how my brain works!) the dream to reality. The route to achievement. A sense of meaning is being created. Good stuff!

I chose the image for this post because for me it’s both content and connection. It’s made from a butter box I was going to recycle. I turned it inside out, and created something different. From the outside, it’s not what it appears to be. It can hold anything. Rocks, slips of paper with words of encouragement. Or as it turned out, a pair of sock I knitted and gave to a friend because I started knitting them while staying with her when I had nowhere else to stay.

My invitation to you this week is to look at what you are putting out to the world. Are your message and mission in alignment? Are you creating value, or simply a scroll pause?


course creation, creative block, creative practice, Creativity, goal setting, inspiration, journaling, Personal Development, Personal growth

Overwhelm Can Lead to Innovation

Adele Satori

I will admit- the past couple of weeks I’ve found myself becoming overwhelmed. Both by content, and the goings on in the world. It’s seemed like a priviledged extravagance. It seemed that everywhere I went there was someone promising “complete transformation in just eight weeks”, offering an app that held content much like I want to present. or making this or that spiritual claim. I used this bombardment of information and enticements as a template, and I’m discovering that’s just not me. I was not being true to my values, beliefs and integrity. Which made me laugh, because that’s one of the explorations I offer to people.

Between finishing up some trainings, looking for a “regular” job to support me on my journey, coming up with course materials and trying to figure out platforms and methods of delivery, and .. and… and… whew. I kinda shut down.

This created a fantastic opportunity! Overwhelm can indicate that a person or group is out of alignment with core tenets and values, or headed a direction that’s not right for the project at hand. It’s a cue to step back, evaluate and recalibrate. Concepts might be vaild overall, but not for the current situation.

In my personal situation, it came to that I was trying to cram too much into one package. AND yay! Many packages! Sometimes it’s necessary to do some sorting out and see what’s noise, and what’s music.

I can’t promise, nor do I want to, a formulaic transformation miracle. I’m more a hands-on kind of person, so I’m beginning to think offering self-paced learning is not what I want to offer. There’s something about in person shared experience that lights me up. I want to take “just enough” time in developing things that when the world sees it, people will think “Yeah! That’s the stuff!”

I believe my music, words, and energy come through me not from me, and I never want to lose sight of that. I witnessed too many people I’ve admired on their journeys begin to believe their own hype and become characatures of themselves.

I believe in the science behind the healing properties of meditation, sound, and energy, and that there are many ways to achieve a state of relaxed awareness. That this is accessible to everyone, and much as there are people more receptive to talents with words, or music, or painting, there are people who are more open to being channels for energy.

That some of the practices I’m exploring use symbols and tools that don’t quite jive for me, and that’s OK.

What I can, and deeply desire to offer:
* A safe and sacred space for people to find their way to relaxed awareness. This can
be through conversation, meditation, sound experiences and creative practice.
* That in this state, people can discover what makes life meaningful to them, and a
few life purposes to lead a satisfied life.
* Contemplative excercises, including some fun creative practices, that have worked
for me in making these discoveries, and maybe they will work for you, too.

I invite you to begin by thinking of a time you felt fully yourself, being and doing something you completely got lost in. Commit to doing this activity twice a day, for twenty minutes. Write, walk, make or listen to music, participate in your community in an uplifiting way. It can be anything that aligns with your values and longings.

If any of this sounds interesting to you, let’s chat! We can explore together a way for you or your team to develop a personalized course. Become more effective and satisfied with your life. I can be reached at craftingthespirit1@gmail.com

Affirmations, focus, goal setting, inspiration, journaling, mindfulness, Personal Development, Personal growth

“What Do You Do?”: Moving Beyond a Work-based Identity

Adele Satori
Me back in ancient times, playing with my pet turtle in our blow-up swimming pool

In the culture I grew up in, training to identify with work started at an early age. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A lot of kids answers have some element of adventure to it, once you take away the label. Fire fighter, astronaut, faery, explorer. Some are more practical: teacher, nurse, scientist, doctor, parent. For an entire year, I insisted I was a pirate named Maria.

Later, if we go to school beyond the teenage years, it’s “What’s your major? What trade are you training in?” And of course, the good old fall back at social gatherings: “What do you do?”, meaning what do you do for work. It’s a way to compare social status, I suppose.

All of these are identifiers as who we are as commodities, or part of a work community, but not who we are as people. I’ve done everything from cleaning bathrooms, to being an executive assistant to having the privilege to meeting a U.S. President. Those are all things I’ve done for work, but not who I am as a person. They don’t describe how I like to watch the play of light and shadow, stop to talk with birds, feel the texture of beads in my hands, get carried away in meditation, or how creating music will carry me away for hours. For a time I ran a group called “I am not my day job”, where we celebrated what we enjoyed when we weren’t working.

I’ve mentioned before elsewhere how having an event at one of my workplaces changed how different departments viewed and interacted with each other, simply by having a day of sharing what we all enjoyed doing outside of work. It elevated communication and interpersonal respect, and that improved productivity.

There’s so much beyond that practical value, though. I feel in so many cases now, there’s more and more pressure and expectation to produce more, with less time, and give up more of our time to our work. In some jobs, the time it takes to complete a task is monitored, not taking into account that workers are biological beings, and not machines.

This leaves very little time for us to do things we love, spending time with family, and just being. It’s gotten to the point where many of us are expected to be available for work 24/7. Belgium just recently passed a law that government workers no longer have to answer work emails or calls after work hours. Technology’s been great in so many ways, and it’s also accelerated burn out for workers.

It’s time to change how we identify, if we haven’t already. One of the- I suppose you could call it gifts- of the past couple of years is that many had an opportunity to rediscover things they love to do, and the desire to have a better balance in life.

My invitations to you this week are these:
When you meet someone, instead of asking them “what do you do” ask them what brings them joy, where’s the best place they’ve visited, first music they bought. Get creative in your inquiries.

And for yourself:
Write “I ….” and list as many things you can think of. Challenge yourself not to edit. These can be affirmations, such as “I am joyful”, things you like to do “I like wiggling my bear toes in the sand” “I love sinking into my bed after a long day” “I make music that fills my soul” “I am a friend/lover/parent/child”.

Make a list of your values. How do these reflect what you love to do? Who you are at your essence? Does what you do for work incorporate your values, or is it in conflict with them? (Sometimes we have to do what we have to do for work, and that’s OK!) If your work doesn’t align with your values, how can you make more space in your day for what does? Are there changes you can make within your current circumstances to better reflect who you are?

Look to see if there are groups or categories of identifiers. Are there unmet longings? Habits-in-waiting asking for attention? What action steps will you take today to bring these to reality?

I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
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This is a taste of the course I’m developing on defining one’s life purposes that I’ll be offering later this year. If this sounds interesting to you, send me an email at craftingthespirit1@gmail.com and let me know you’d like to be on the mailing list.